i-Anya

Eowyn this question is especially for you…

I guess it kind of relates to the question you answered previously about role models, and it also has to do with what you’ve been telling me about performing girlhood and gender trouble, but I think it might be more complicated than that…

So, the question is - how do you think you developed the characteristics of a strong, assertive, confident, girl (female if you prefer)?

Maybe you don’t feel these all the time, but in general, you seem to be empowered and decisive… you’ve built your own social community online - so you must believe in yourself as somebody who is able to lead, voice your opinions, make choices, make a difference and influence others and so on…

So what has led you to this point? What influences have inspired you?
and… is there anything that you feel is holding you back from achieving your dreams and aspirations?

posted by Anya at 2:18:01 AM
3 Comments:

Eowyn Skywalker said…

*blinks* Me? Decisive? Yeah RIGHT… that’s sarcastic, by the way. You know why I do so many graphics? Because I can NEVER EVER make up my mind. For any reason at all. *snickers* Maybe I appear confident online… but in reality I’m certainly not. Just because I’m running a forum…

All right… let’s just let myself talk, and maybe this will make sense… snrk. When I made my forum originally, mom was the admin and I was G-mod. I wasn’t particularally confident of anything, I just wanted a webpage. My dream was that of any potential admin… to create an active site. I have no clue WHY now that I look back, though… but I suppose I didn’t realize how much I’d have to put into there. I tried being THE admin back in the beginning– look over early posts, and I’m trying to be… normal… but my own personality took over quickly, and soon we became an open, and original site.

Which is why we’re so darn active, I think…. original.

But I’m not really that confident. I have all these other mods whom I can hardly bare to leave alone… pth. It’s not really hard to make yourself appear as…shall we say Something we’re not. I do it all the time, really, by taking on an RPG character. They’re all so… different.

I was lead to this point simply by wanting to be heard. By wanting to have a site where I wouldn’t be just some random other member. By wanting to form my own community where I could post fanfic unafraid. Because I wanted to be someone I couldn’t on other sites.

Anything holding me back? Oh no way, not online. *evil grin* Online I’m quite influencial, and such… yeah… confident, certainly. When you really get to know me that changes though… *glares at Jandalf playfully* Because the people who actually know Me… know how pathetic I act in reality. (to the point where I actually won’t phone people because I’m afraid of what they’ll say… yes, I know, pathetic.)

So… I suppose really all that holds me back is myself– the real person behind me that won’t let me get too big for my hat. The girl who connects with people to the point of ‘freakilly attuned’. The girl who thinks of another person across Canada as her Master… even in reality, to a point. All that keeps me back is myself.

Certainly I believe I can make a difference, but I know I can’t without the aid of others like me– so, I suppose I’ve became who I am online through the aid of more… mature people online who taught me how internet-ality went. The people who created Eowyn Skywalker, per se. And Tiana, and so many other personas.

It’s their fault I’m such an annoying person! Really! [mindtrick] If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t be like this at all… [/mindtrick]

Whaaaaaat? So I’m annoying by nature… heh.

What I really wonder is what would’ve happened had Jandalf never insulted Canada in one of her fanfics…

…MEI might not exist! Gasp!
12:30 PM
Anya said…

Thank you, this is a fantastic response Eowyn :>

I can guess that Jandalf has been one person who has particularly infuenced you - can you tell me some more about her? (what did you learn from her?)

Who are some of the other ‘mature’ people you mentioned? (what did you learn from them?)

And are there any other strong female role models offline (not counting your mother, I already know about her) that have inspired you - errr… that you haven’t mentioned to me before?

SOrry if some of my questions are a little repetitive, I just want to make sure I cover all the angles and get a really clear picture of your experiences *smile*
1:56 AM
Eowyn Skywalker said…

Offline models besides mom? Erm… Amy. My last year’s youth group leader, I suppose… she sort of counts. She’s a good example of a Christian wife, and a good person for a teen to talk to when you don’t want to talk to your mom– she’s easy going, and all that. Not that I usually can’t talk to mom. And, if it’s really something I can’t talk to mom about… then… it’s probably a gift, eh?

(or I’ll babble to Jandalf about it– I really to feel sorry for her, having to put up with me as a Padawan)

She finds you interesting, by the way– when she gets back from the missions thingy she’s going on on Saturday maybe I’ll get her to join here.

Hmm… but how to say what I’ve *learned* from her? She’s… not… a teacher, per se. Not much of a Jedi Master in that sense. But she puts up with me, and keeps the RP going– and, as Tiana gets things knocked into her head (darn these blockheaded Jedi Masters) so do I. Really, to be honest, what I’ve really learned from her is to be myself. I kid you not. To have people online to whom you can admit without qualms that you love them like a sister/mentor/whatever… and have them return that same sentiment… well… it’s a learning experience in itself. *shrugs helplessly* Just don’t try to argue with them, you’ll lose.

To be truthful, she doesn’t infulence me, rather that our characters influence us. And I think she’d have to agree. Our real selves… when we talk… it’s different… though both will admit we’ve started thinking of each other in our online states in reality at times. It’s more Jandalf’s character who really influences me through Tiana.

Yeah… clear pictures. You don’t want a diaphanous image of me, now DO you?
4:17 PM

I’m now working on my chapter about the psychology of role-playing.

What I have so far is this:

- the characters you’re role-playing are what we might call fused identities - aspects of your own self and experiences are blended into the characters.

- the emotions you’re feeling at any particular time can influence the actions. thoughts and thus the narrative arc of the role-playing

- the plot lines also reflect things that are important to you and blend in the following: real experiences, ideas from movies / games / music that you like

Also, Hobbitness told me that she noticed that when somebody wants a bit of attention (for any reason) they might role-play having an accident *grin* to become the centre of the role-playing focus.

Do any of you have some more examples to offer me please? Or is there something you do in your role-playing that I haven’t mentioned above?

Thanks! :>

posted by Anya at 10:46:58 PM
3 Comments:

Perc said…

Yeah…

Doing something really profound… Like going up to the commander-in-chief of 300,000 soldiers and calling him, his brother, and everyone in his band pigs.

YUAN SHU!!!!

Or, if you do something which will conflict with the attitude/whatever of another person’s character. For example, praying wrong. To a priest. Said priest calls me a heretic and tries to impale me on a crozius arcanium.

Touchy, ne?
1:27 AM
Perc said…

Hmm. Ok. Why did I provoke the priest with the dangerous Crozius Arcanium?

Well, in all reality, the character I played (A pretty much normal law-abiding citizen) wanted an opinion. You see? The Imperium doesn’t like opinion. Thus, when I got stuffy at the priest because I didn’t think the idea of the Emperor worked, he tried to hit me with a Crozius Arcanium.

To really roleplay good, you must… infuse yourself to your character. I saw a lot of inequity. The priest was telling me to “PRAY”. I wasn’t going to pray. He attacked me. I felt hard done by. Thus, when I ran, I put emotion into running. I ran… hard.

What really bites is yet again the inequity of having such a low character. The priest has called in the Inquisitors and the Ordo Malleus to deal with me, as I weave and dodge through the hives on the planet Therium IV.
1:44 AM
Anya said…

Thanks Perc! Actually, after laughing at the “running hard” bit, there are more questions I have about this.

Actually, you were right to point out that this is something a bit different to what I had already mentioned. This is more about new emotions experienced ‘in the heat of battle’ so to speak. Its also about power.

You said you wouldn’t be returning to this game - is it because the people in positions of power are not role-playing with more justice / intelligence / alignment with the theme of the story…? anything else?

I think I also need a better understanding of the role-playing context - is it like a palace (with many rooms / visual / synchronous)?

Once when I was at Bloody Brilliant palace the girl i shared my Ravenclaw dorm with found out the password to Gryffindor’s common room and so we changed names and snuck in. I forgot to change my uniform though and some other girls spotted that I was a Ravenclaw (dunno how, the blue pixels are so small to distinguish it without close inspection) and so she and another person chased me all around the palace, took screenshots of me, and later turned the screenshots into avs going around with my picture on a wanted poster. It was all most disconcerting *laugh*

Anyway, would you mind explaining the type of interface used. or post me the URL so that I can go check it out please?

Thanks as always for the insight into something I hadn’t included *happy smiles*!!!!

- the internet allows us to author our selves
- we ‘do’ our life through writing, reading and living in and around technology
- doing and authoring is a performance of self, relationships, communities
- how we perform ourselves, how we do and author ourselves… is a literary strategy
- perfomances create enduring social structures, demonstrating (as Agger puts it) - the ‘power of the pixel’
- physical bodies are intimately connected to these literary strategies
- literary strategies are a product of desire and fantasy, selected to fashion the identities we idealise
- desire and fantasy is enscribed on the surface of the body
- the body is not passive, but has the ability to resist, struggle, subvert

- Will my prospective future employers do a google search on me, discover this blog, and read my previous post?

I’m now working on my chapter about the psychology of role-playing.

What I have so far is this:

- the characters you’re role-playing are what we might call fused identities - aspects of your own self and experiences are blended into the characters.

- the emotions you’re feeling at any particular time can influence the actions. thoughts and thus the narrative arc of the role-playing

- the plot lines also reflect things that are important to you and blend in the following: real experiences, ideas from movies / games / music that you like

Also, Hobbitness told me that she noticed that when somebody wants a bit of attention (for any reason) they might role-play having an accident *grin* to become the centre of the role-playing focus.

Do any of you have some more examples to offer me please? Or is there something you do in your role-playing that I haven’t mentioned above?

Thanks! :>

posted by Anya at 10:46:58 PM
3 Comments:

Perc said…

Yeah…

Doing something really profound… Like going up to the commander-in-chief of 300,000 soldiers and calling him, his brother, and everyone in his band pigs.

YUAN SHU!!!!

Or, if you do something which will conflict with the attitude/whatever of another person’s character. For example, praying wrong. To a priest. Said priest calls me a heretic and tries to impale me on a crozius arcanium.

Touchy, ne?
1:27 AM
Perc said…

Hmm. Ok. Why did I provoke the priest with the dangerous Crozius Arcanium?

Well, in all reality, the character I played (A pretty much normal law-abiding citizen) wanted an opinion. You see? The Imperium doesn’t like opinion. Thus, when I got stuffy at the priest because I didn’t think the idea of the Emperor worked, he tried to hit me with a Crozius Arcanium.

To really roleplay good, you must… infuse yourself to your character. I saw a lot of inequity. The priest was telling me to “PRAY”. I wasn’t going to pray. He attacked me. I felt hard done by. Thus, when I ran, I put emotion into running. I ran… hard.

What really bites is yet again the inequity of having such a low character. The priest has called in the Inquisitors and the Ordo Malleus to deal with me, as I weave and dodge through the hives on the planet Therium IV.
1:44 AM
Anya said…

Thanks Perc! Actually, after laughing at the “running hard” bit, there are more questions I have about this.

Actually, you were right to point out that this is something a bit different to what I had already mentioned. This is more about new emotions experienced ‘in the heat of battle’ so to speak. Its also about power.

You said you wouldn’t be returning to this game - is it because the people in positions of power are not role-playing with more justice / intelligence / alignment with the theme of the story…? anything else?

I think I also need a better understanding of the role-playing context - is it like a palace (with many rooms / visual / synchronous)?

Once when I was at Bloody Brilliant palace the girl i shared my Ravenclaw dorm with found out the password to Gryffindor’s common room and so we changed names and snuck in. I forgot to change my uniform though and some other girls spotted that I was a Ravenclaw (dunno how, the blue pixels are so small to distinguish it without close inspection) and so she and another person chased me all around the palace, took screenshots of me, and later turned the screenshots into avs going around with my picture on a wanted poster. It was all most disconcerting *laugh*

Anyway, would you mind explaining the type of interface used. or post me the URL so that I can go check it out please?

Thanks as always for the insight into something I hadn’t included *happy smiles*!!!!

Oooohhhh… questions. Goody! *grins evilly* Oh well… here goes nothing… or more, here goes everything…
1: I went from 3 members besides myself and mom to 100 in a good while, and some of them are RP aliases… probably around 30 members are made for the sole purpose of RPing now. However, I attracted new members by advertizing in my signature on other forums (very useful, especially when you give it a catching summary), and asking people I knew to join, and tell their friends to join. I also joined a couple top 10 sites, and that helped a bit too. Because I joined forums, and was relatively active I had people return the same favor to me, really, that was all.

2: All right… Adrienne Gollumeyes– the so dubbed Empress on my site. We’ve been friends since I was in first grade when we met at swimming lessons, and she invited me to Awana. (hugs Adrienne) We see each other on average 3 times a week– once for church, once for Awana, and once for youth group. When we get together in reality we babble on and on and on about MEI, our fanfics, bug her brother, run around with toy swords and lightsaber and be annoying, play computer games, or piano. And talk. A lot. Snicker. We started writing fanfic when she gave me a copy of the Runes from the Hobbit– I’ll see about finding those old papers and scanning them. Basically we just scribbled out pieces of stories, and spoofs, and translated them. At the moment we’re working on a girl-meets-ME… with a twist. They don’t remember the plot. *evil grin* We’re using my character as Tiana Twigg… that was a stupid joke… and she’s Adrienne.
Jandalf isn’t the only person I RP with… the stuff I write with her is akin to RPing at times.
She does write online a bit, but doesn’t have as much time as me, so she only has one thing on fanfic.net, and her posts on my site. She writes a lot by hand, though– and I admit it, her writing is a lot more hilarious than mine.

3: I model bits of myself into Enn, Shadow/Almarien, Lara’li, Tiana (obviously, but I just thought I’d better add her), Talnaver, Taania, Lania/Lathania, Hanindur, Kylan, Alenece, Willow (both the Terran and the Hobbit Willow)… erm… pretty well all my characters. So… let’s start from the top. Tiana, Willow, and Talnaver are the most like me in reality– Tiana being ME originally– as her character didn’t exist until I started transribing Jandalf and my chats on a whim– well, it existed in a fanfic, but… yeah. Willow is my newest character– she’s ‘me’ in LotG– as we’ve pulled the characters to Terra, and she’s supposadly the narrator. Snicker. Basically, I infused my complete adenity into her, beyond the fact that I don’t live in MB… heh. Talnaver is one of my oldest characters– she came from the first fiction I ever started writing, and her character was… well… annoying, impossible to like, and… well… you just never liked her. She’s my fantasy forest character now, the Mage Queen… and is probably a bit easier to like now. NOW. But originally… you hated her.
Hanindur and Kylan are my only two male characters that I can say I’ve infused myself into– and I’m not certain about Kylan, as he’s a very new character. Hanindur is loyal– holds close to his friends– and a ranger. He only has my basic personality.
Lania is an alias– if you’re Middle-earthian, forget that I said that– and I used her to get my evil side out of things. Sadly, she’s turning light again. *evil grin*
Alenece was my character on another SW RP site, and I don’t know the URL… she was basically me as a Jedi Knight, but she didn’t believe there was a Darkside and a Lightside– like me at that time.
I model bits of myself into my characters by just… letting go, per se. It’s really the other way around– I infuse the characters into myself, more. You let the characters become a part of you, let yourself be able to think like they would, and it works the other way around.
You can’t have a character who doesn’t have some of your personality without losing yourself. A good role-player will let go of their thoughts when RPing– Jandalf was the one who said it. “When RPing my mind goes blank.. you don’t really think to do it.” or something of that accord. I have to agree– I can’t think as myself when thinking as Tiana. If that makes any sense.

4: Umm… I have no clue, really– highlights would be the creation of the societies, I suppose– meeting Padmé Evenstar and having that same freaky attunement to her…. *Shrugs* For me, nearly everything is a special thing, because it’s always unique, to a degree.

5: Yes, I did say that… so…

a) Ummm… yes. *sheepish grin* I can switch over to thinking as Tiana without a moment’s thought, really. I often say out loud when talking to Adrienne, for example, “Darn it, I sound just like Tiana.” Or comment on small things like “Masters really rub off on you, you know.” Probably the worst one was when I made a comment on the Force to mom, but it was pretty well in character– and she’s like. “You can’t use the Force, you know.”
“Yeah, I know, but Tiana doesn’t.”
*rolls eyes* And yes, I often think “All right, do you really think that would be a good idea if Jandalf was around?” Or “Wow, that’s a cool quote– it reminds me of such and such scene online.”
Tiana does infulence my thoughts a lot. Pth.

b) Roleplaying online is almost akin to the Matrix because you’re taking on a digital avatar of yourself and becoming that person to the point where you’re nearly going to believe that it’s all real– the biggest difference is that going online is the trip down the rabbit hole and not the other way around. Unplugging yourself from those characters online is just as tricky as unplugging yourself from a digital world, because, in theory, you *are* unplugging yourself from a digital world– and, fi you’ve got in too deep, you’re going to find yourself drowning in that rabbit hole.
Did that make sense?

6: I’m not a consumer, I’m a skinflint. I don’t buy anything if I can get away with it. I still have 60 dollars from my birthday– I’ve spent 5. However, when I do spend cash it’s usually on books, candy, or computer junk. Books are important to me because it’s a way of getting further into knowledge, even if their fiction– candy… is… well… CHOCOLATE! GOOD! And computer games and all that… I don’t know why I buy them, because I rarely play them.

7: Feminism? All right… you know how many arguements I’ve had on that form of topic, with a Christian base. I’m not a feminist, but I do believe that women are more than just baby-making machines, to be blunt. Now, taking a look at this topic, it’s obvious that men wouldn’t exist without women existing, AND the other way around. I believe that men are the head of the household– and I don’t think women should take over the world. Honestly. I discribe feminism as women who aren’t content with what God’s given them and are attempting to take over the world. I don’t think women should be treated badly– it says in the Bible that men are suppose to love their wives and care for them– but I don’t think we should take advantage of that, either.
Umm… I’ll just stop there, because I could go on for hours otherwise.

8: Ummm… I don’t listen to music that much… but… here goes. LotR soundtrack, SW soundtrack, PotC soundtrack… umm… *likes soundtracks* I like Avalon– milder Christian groups that are still somewhat upbeat– yet I can still sing to them…

I love to listen to lyrics. I’ll have to pull out some of my favorite ones, now. Find the names of the songs, and all that… snrk. I’ll just stick them down at the end of this post, I guess…

9: Computer. Computer. More computer. Yet more computer. Um… I use the telephone about once a week… I use the microwave a lot… I use the stove, the fridge… my alarm clock… the camara once in a while… usually just computer. Snrk. And microwaves…. useful things they are.
10: Hopes and dreams, eh? M’kay… my goals at present are as follows:
a) To write, and publish fiction novels.
b) To stalk Jandalf if she gets away with her dream of traveling the world… and she has consented to that, so it doesn’t really count as stalking… but it just sounds funny.
c) To COwrite an original fiction based on the plot Jandalf and I created with Jandalf (I’ve already started working on the worlds, and such).
d) To meet Darth Warious, Trinity, and Padme Evenstar.
e) Fall in love with a guy who can build me a Hobbit Hole. Whaaat?! It’s true… I want a guy who’ll build me a Hobbit hole!
f) Somehow get ahold of Photostudio, Flash, CoralDraw, and all the programs I’d need to make a movie, and make a movie.
Now… for hopes and dreams, it really is just to become a writer, own a really cool webpage with my own domain, and such. My dreams are high, but that’s all right. Because, even if I can’t achieve earthly goals, I’ve got my longterm goal fulfilled, and I’m certain I can bring it further– to be a mirror of God’s glory. W00T!
Now… lyrics:

CryMandy Moore(A Walk To Remember Soundtrack)I’ll always rememberIt was late afternoonIt lasted foreverAnd ended to soonYou were all by yourselfStaring up at a dark gray skyAnd I was changed[Chorus]In places no one will findAll your feelings so deep insideIt was there that I realized That forever was in your eyesThe moment I saw you cryIt was late SeptemberAnd I’d seen you beforeYou were always the cold oneBut I was never that sureYou were all by yourselfStaring up at a dark gray skyI was changed[Chorus]I wanted to hold youI wanted to make it go awayI wanted to know you I wanted to make your everything, all rightI’ll always remember…It was late afternoon[chorus]

Avalon - Everything To Me Lyrics
I grew up in sunday school
I memorized the Golden rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don’t know what to say
But i’ll never be the same
Because he changed my life when He became…
Everything to me
He’s more than a story
more than words on a page of history
He’s the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He’s everything, everything to me
We’re living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that i’m aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
Now everyday I’m praying
Just to give my heart away
I want live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that he is…
Everything to me
He’s more than a story
more than words on a page of history
He’s the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He’s everything
And looking back over my life at the end
I’ll go to meet you saying you’ve been…
You’re everything to me
You’re more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You’re everything to me
You’re more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You’re the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
You’re everything to me
Lord, you’re everything to me

Avalon - Don’t Save It All for Christmas Day Lyrics
Don’t get so busy that you miss
Giving just a little kiss
To the ones you love
Don’t even wait a little while
To give them just a little smile
A little is enough
See how many people are crying
Some people are dying
How many people are asking for love
So don’t save it all for Christmas day
Find a way
To give a little love every day
Don’t save it all for Christmas day
Find a way
‘Cause holidays have come and gone
But love lives on
If you give on
Love
How could you wait another minute
A hug is warmer when you’re in it
Oh, baby that’s a fact
And saying I love you’s always better
Seasons, reasons they don’t matter
So don’t hold back
See how many people in this world
So needful in this world
How many people are praying for love
repeat chorus
So let all the children know
Everywhere that they go
Their whole life long
Let them know love

Well… there’s a couple… I’ll try to get you more, but I’m out of internet time. I have others that I like, but that’s just a couple that I could think of at the moment. Sorry about the weird spacing but I was copying and pasting it… sigh.

posted by Eowyn Skywalker at 10:45:17 AM 0 comments
Oh, look, my Master replied to your killing me:
Heehee… I just screened the messager window after I gave her that screen I did of the dead Padawan thing… *evil grin* I had to post it even though she’ll probably kill me now…

Heh.

(oh, and Jandalf is very intrieged by this whole business here. Heh.)

We were in RP mode, so that's why the double brackets.

(Note from Anya: image edited to fit window, click for full size)

posted by Eowyn Skywalker at 10:36:51 AM 0 comments
Your RP Characters - another question for everybody...
If you could swap your current world to become any character out of the characters you role-play, who would you be and why?

posted by Anya at 2:10:47 AM 1 comments
10 random questions for the padawan!

Hey Eowyn, I have some gaps to fill in with your story - can you please fill me in on:

1. When you first started MEI, how did you manage to go from 3 members to over 100? How did you attract members? (you've told me a little of this, but not the whole story)

2. Can you please tell me a bit about Adrienne - how long you've been friends, where/when you first met, what sort of things you do together these days, what made you start writing fanfic together, does she write online as well... anything else I would be interested to know?

3. We've talked about how Tiana is fused with your own identity, but we became sidetracked when we started talking about Enn... and what about your other characters - can you list the ones you model bits of yourself into and explain how please?

4. What are some of the highlights for this year on MEI - any special events or just everyday events that have been special to you, and why?

5. When we had our palace chat you gave me this FANTASTIC quote:

Online, it's akin to this [the Matrix] because we become digital variations of
ourselves... and when we're unplugged, who knows what'll happen?

a) Do you ever have times when you're 'unplugged' when you catch yourself thinking, Tiana would say/do this, (or any other character for that matter), or I should really act in this particular way because it would make Jandalf happy/ I could use it in the roleplay...?

b) Could you elaborate on that quote for me please?

6. What sort of consumer are you? (i.e. when you get pocket money or monetary gifts, what sort of things do you spend it on?) (i.e. what products are important to you, and why?)

7. How would you describe 'feminism'? Do you think it applies to you - are you a feminist?

8. What music do you listen to? Could you please share your favourite song lyrics? (and tell why they are your favourite)

9. List the range of technology you use in, say, any given week.

10. At the end of your chapter, I'd like to write something about your hopes and aspirations and dreams... if you care to share them with our readers - if so, what are they?

*grin* OK sorry for the barrage of questions - I am working on your chapter and noticed that in our interview we tended to get sidetracked a LOT!! (OK, it was my fault, I kept thinking of new questions all the time!)

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!! (You don't have to answer all of these at once, take a week if you like, or think about them and answer them when we next meet on the palace if you prefer) :/>

An evening with Elizabeth Grosz!
Stimulating, provocative and making fascinating connections, what a pleasure to have some brain candy for a refreshing change after weeks of monotonous, mindless marking! I thoroughly enjoyed Elizabeth’s talk. The friend I went with asked me: “Have the post-structuralists discovered science?”.

Essentially, the argument was that Cultural Studies has neglected science and the oversight has left us with a reductionist view of culture as oppositional to nature. What I really found interesting was that she problematised the notion of the body as a passive surface always ready and waiting to be inscribed upon by culture. She also made a comment that Linguists tend to reduce culture to a study of texts, something I also argued in my thesis, so I felt like I resonated with some of her ideas.

She also claims that nature has bequeathed culture three central characteristics which act from the outside to force and impinge problems upon the inside…
1. The forward pull of temporality (aging, mortality, the limits of the body)
2. Forces of variation and natural differences that result in events and surprises
3. The biological differences of the sexes

… and that cultural identity is linked to how these problems are managed and dealt with by different groups in different social contexts.

I thought it was also interesting that she said culture acts as a filter, to determine which possibilities will be taken up and which will be rejected, thus creating certain ways of being in certain spaces. Nature, she says, throws up endless intractable problems which generate opportunities for us to respond with ingenuity and innovation to generate ever developing ways of being.

The friend who accompanied me was disappointed, saying: this is all just common sense. But I think it provides new ways of reconceptualising how we think about the social and cultural phenomena as being much more complex.

One weird kind of connection I also made was when she was talking about filters, and how we filter out and select the ways we respond to events. It reminded me of autism - I have a friend with an autistic child and she was telling me how autistic children are simply unable to filter out the everyday stuff we mostly ignore or take for granted, that they are always experiencing every aspect of the world as new stimuli. Elizabeth was saying that we need surprises, or shocks, to shake up our lives so that we see those other ways of being.

Well, I *think* thats what she was saying - she talked fast and it was very lexically complex! Now I just have to make some more connections to cyberculture!

Eowyn and Melissa: this one is for you!
Hey Eowyn and Melissa *grin* - yes, a special question *only* for the girls (older girls can answer too Hobbitness *smiles*)….

It’s about how you ‘perform’ as a female (and again the boundary between online and offline is murky here as I am sure there is an overlap)…

There’s a writer who says that we can can (and indeed, should) cause ‘gender trouble’ by NOT performing as the sterotyped idea of a girl/female/woman.

Can you think about (and answer here if you dare, otherwise tell me privately!) how you act as a female, and what you do that is a) typically female and b) untypically female please?

I’d also like to think about how we might perform those other roles you were all telling me about too… but let’s just start with this one for now - performing ‘girlhood’.

posted by Anya at 3:42:49 PM

6 Comments:

Eowyn Skywalker said…

I’m not afraid to answer you here– I’m never afraid to speak out ONLINE… heh…. because I doubt anyone who sees this will ever know me in reality.

I have to agree with that– gender trouble can be caused by not preforming as the set role for a female online. People always know I’m female– I make one point of that, by chosing female avatars, and usually names too. But it’s so easy to have that gender trouble. And I’ve seen if, if not faced it myself.

Online on Star Wars.com, in their forums there was a thread a few months ago– “Is there any other female Star Wars fans on here?”. The reply was outstanding– it had over 30 pages going on it. The female population of SW and LotR fans is extensive– but a lot of people don’t realize that girls like those movies for more than just the fangirl reasons. I had a girl on my site who was IMPRESSED to be able to join and not be knocked because she was female and enjoyed the battles and such.

Yet, online, I have noticed that nearly 80% of the fandom forums I am on are populated by 80% or more of females, all of whom are as obsessed as I am with more than just Anakin’s looks… *sheepish grin* Though I have to admit he is good-looking.

By being obvious about my love for lightsaber duels, battles in LotR– that’s one thing I do that isn’t quite female. And yet… I act an obvious girl online too. It’s reflected in a childish love for Anakin (yes, I admit it…), reflected in a love of faith, hope, peace. I reflect my gender in the way my characters choose to act– though their actions are a Jedi’s at heart, they’re also the actions of a female. Oft I do play a girl for a character, though they’ll have their actions that aren’t quite… female… but even when I ply a guy, you can tell it’s a girl writing. If you know what to look for.

Everyone expects you to preform as a girl by acting polite, modern– love clothing, shoes, and such. I don’t. I hate modern styles. I make that dislike obvious, too. Yet I preform as a female online, and not just in RPG. I only have one RPG boyfriend… and he’s not exactly close to Lania yet– so it’s not in the romance that you expect from a girl that you can tell.

It’s an inner thing, an inborn ability to take who you are and twist that. Tiana is based on Anakin– the paths she choose and such taken from his– and yet by a few changes I was able to make his character into a female who was outstandingly different. It’s in the conncections you make with other people often that proves you as such– that makes you a girl rather than a genderless being online that is generated by imagination rather than reality. You rely on others in different manners.

As a female, I act human, and yet not as the sterotyped female role that is set out for us. I act a sister, a daughter– I’m there, a rock when needed, and using others as my anchor when needed (which is often). I cry– which is often too, as it seems– I have my fears that are certainly not male. The desires to care for others– that’s also a girly thing, I’d say. Sure, I jump around with toy lightsabers and swords, quoting LotR and such… but can you really say that acting like such is a sterotyped thing for a male?

I didn’t think so either.
5:37 PM
Anya said…

*astonished look* this is a fantastic response, thanks Eowyn! You’ve given me quite a few interesting ideas to think about and follow up (i.e. I would love to get the URL for that SW fandon discussion by the women, for one).

There are a couple of quick questions that immediately hit me though.

1. You said that if you know what to look for in writing you can tell that its female/male. Well, apart from the gender genie quiz we did at the bookblog, which didn’t have good criteria if you ask me, what do you think are the telling signs? Read Perc’s writing for example - its descriptive, detailed, clear (I love his writing!) - but if you hadn’t known he was male, what would the tell tale signs for you be?

2. The other question I have is about the fact that you said you make sure people know that you are female online. Do you do this because you especially want people to know, do you do it out of a sense of trust and honesty, or do you do it because you want to feel closely aligned to your characters?

(I have more questions but those will make a start hehe)

PS. Does this mean your computer is fixed now?? *applauds*
11:35 PM
Eowyn Skywalker said…

Sadly, it’s not. Oh well. I’ll link you to what we were talking about on my board about female fans, but I can’t find the others. Sigh. It’s somewhere on this page on my site: http://ennaani.proboards3.com/index.cgi?board=general&num=1094683872&action=display&start=195

To answer questions 2:

I make sure people know I’m female on… because I’m an honest person by nature. I admit to fooling the entirety of my site with a few aliases, but they never are that different from me. I hate lying, I hate traitors… *wants to kill Tiana for going against Jandalf now* I suppose I also do it to align myself with my characters moreless, but… it’s more from honesty.

For 1:

Regarding Perc’s writing… I went and read what he posted as Liu Shan the other day. It’s not exactly a male’s writing, but yet… it is. I would’ve said a guy wrote it, myself. The way he goes through the guilt, and some level of violence is moreless male in style. It has a depth that you aren’t going to get, the fight within… well… *shrugs* You know what I mean. If I were to write the same piece, using my characters, you’d know it as female. I think. Here, I’ll just scribble down a short scene using one of my male characters. Character is A’karon… a later LotG character.

*

He inwardly cursed his lack of sight. Though non-Force-sensitive, there was no reason that he could’ve gotten into this had he kept his eyes open. /Ennariel is the blinded one, yet I walk myself into the strangest things./ A’karon shook his head, and lowered his hood.

That in itself was a strange sensation. Removing the sandcolored hood to look into anothers eyes. There was no sandstorm, nevertheless, he still felt the danger of that one motion. “I… am a friend,” he whispered, raising both hands in reaction to the threat.

Christiana simply nodded. “Well, time will prove that, won’t it– if nothing else, we are not in Imperial hands for your intervention.” The Jedi lowered her lightsaber– though it wasn’t hers, it was her mother’s.

Then there was the touch from across the lands…

He slumped down to the sand, and heaven help anything that was in his way.

*

Maybe that proves my point on male vs female? You get two different characters of opposite genders, yet you can easily tell the difference between the two, even without the narration that dubs them such. FYI, this is taken from later TTP– Christi is Tiana’s daughter, and A’ka is a… chameleon of sorts. Heh. This is after Tiana turned… probably. One of those scenes that may or may not happen… heh.

So, for me, the telling signs are simple enough. I look for the choices in discribing– a male will be more likely to put heart into a battle, though a girl will do such as well. A girl will discribe things lightly in RP often, looking to the plot, yet not always going straight at it– while a guy will advance into the plot at all times.

Okay… hope that helps… t’was certainly long enough!
5:00 PM
Anya said…

Ahhhh thank you!! I would enjopy seeing you post _sections_ of your favourite fan fiction moments here! (Not the 100 page version *grin*)

SO am I right in saying that you think in boy’s writing they get straight to the intensity of action? Oh, and you mentioned also the depth of the inner struggle in Perc’s characterisations. And that in girl’s writing there’s more of an emphasis on the social connections between the characters? (just trying to make sure I am clear here)

Do you have any examples where we see one of your characters alone, and witness his or her inner struggle? And if so, is the way you write it as a female author different to the way Perc wrote his as a male writer?

ANd thanks so much for that link about female fans!!! That is incredible!!!! I am astounded to hear those stories of how the girls were treated at certain fan sites. That makes me really angry, especially the argument that is is UNCHRISTIAN for girls to like Star Wars!!!! That is EVIL - bah! I would love to talk with those girls Eowyn. Or to use some of what they have said in my book. Do you think we could somehow get their permission (and their parents permission) for that? I don’t want to intrude on your site with this… but maybe could you please please write a little post there about this blog and say I am looking for some more girls to talk about their experiences (good and bad) here…. that way I can individually organise permissions and so on…. *hopeful look*
12:31 PM
Eowyn Skywalker said…

Yes… social connections… that’s a better way of putting it. I admit, I’ll fall completely into a character, yet their struggle is oft based off of a friendship, or other… connection. Not really… personal. It’s a vendetta that circles around a social manner vs completely within. You ask for a piece with me writing a character on their own… with an inner struggle…? Okay, well, then I’ll put one up as a real post, I suppose…

Ummm… all right, which girls were you talking about? I’m afraid I’m not certain on all of them… lesse if I can remember correctly who was involved for the sake of PMing them all about this blog. I can make a post, or a mass email, yes.

All right… I think it was KellGirl13 who started it… I don’t know much about her… so no clue there. Then Trinity (15 year old, been a member since near the beginning), Adrienne (I know you’d never get permission to do more than quote her… I know her and her parents in reality), Warious… might have… (18, unlikely that you’d be able to talk much to her… her parents have a phobia, I think. Snrk)… ummm… Jandalf too… (17, her parents are also… well… parents… but not as bad as some). And Vanacoriel… again, I don’t know too much about her…

I think you’d be allowed to quote them, though. What sort of post do you want me to do?
5:27 PM
Anya said…

Thanks Eowyn! I would like to quote some of them, so Hmmm… how about if you email them something like this:

Angela Thomas is writing a book about young people’s experiences online. Angela works at the University of Sydney in Australia as an English lecturer and is doing some research to help with the writing of her book.

I have been sharing some of my story with her, including my thoughts about girls and fandom and some of the prejudices I have encountered. I invited Angela to read some of the posts here at MEI and she was very shocked to read about some of your experiences.

She would LOVE to quote you in her book or talk to you further about these experiences and any others you would care to share. She has a blog at anyaka.blogspot.com where a few other young people are chatting and sharing stuff with her which she would like to invite you to participate in if you are interested.

If you would allow Angela to quote some of your posts here or are interested in being a member of the blog, could you please email her at:
a.thomas@edfac.usyd.edu.au

She will need to get both your permission and your parent’s permission (via email) to quote you. She does not need to know your real name so your privacy will be protected.

Angela would be eternally grateful to anybody who allowed her to include their thoughts in her book!
—-

Is that OK? You can edit it if it is too long but its important that they know about getting the permissions. *smile* Thanks!
1:21 PM

Yesterday I needed some serious retail therapy after a difficult week, so I headed to Berkelouws Books and went browsing through the store. My past life as a primary teacher always catches up with me in book stores and I was soon engrossed in the children’s book section. One of my favourite children’s poets is the British poet, Michael Rosen. I used to read his poems to my classes over and over because they loved them so much. They also loved seeing me act like an idiot when I sang the songs that are often included in the poetry. Like the poem where Eddie wants his dad to sing There was an old man named Michael Finnegan over and over… or when Eddie wants to have his birthday every day for a month and gets Happy Birthday Eddie sung to him over and over. My copy of Quick Let’s Get out of Here! is falling to bits after many years of extensive use. So I was excited to see a new picture book by Michael Rosen on the shelves:

So I stood in the book store, read the book… and was instantly reduced to tears! The book is all about Michael Rosen’s grief over the death of his son, Eddie! This is Eddie, the mischievous comic star of so many brilliantly funny poems! Eddie and the Hippopotumus, Eddie and the Wallpaper, Eddie’s Birthday, Eddie’s Nappy…. poems that had been delighting me and the kids in my classes for years! I stood in the corner crying and snivelling like it was ME that had lost a child, I was grief stricken… I had to leave the store without buying anything!I started hunting for a contact email for Michael Rosen because as silly as it sounds, I just wish I could write to him and let him know how much joy Eddie gave so many other kids… I am sure he knows that though and unsolicited emails would only be an intrusion. But *wow* what a powerful book, it certainly connected with me.So I searched the internet instead for information and came across this report in the UK Herald by Rosemary Goring. I am going to copy it here:

First Word
A startling children’s book landed on my desk the other day. Let me warn you now: this is not a story to read if you have sensitive sinuses, are wearing mascara, or dislike public displays of emotion, especially your own.

The title should have been a clue; Michael Rosen’s Sad Book, it says, above a gloomy yet spirited illustration by Quentin Blake. A tall, pensive man walks across the cover, watched by an inquisitive dog, and at their feet are an overturned garbage can and some litter: the debris of Michael Rosen’s shattered life.That image alone captures a mood of grief as vividly as a thousand words.There’s much more to follow. As sparsely written as a telegram, and as sympathetically drawn as if Rosen and Blake were soul mates, this is an exceptional, powerful book. It is about sadness, loss, death and grief, and it’s for children. Children young enough to enjoy picture books.

Michael Rosen is better known for humour than for misery, for poems that fizz and dance and laugh. A poet, children’s author and broadcaster, he has built a reputation based on being true to what he sees and feels. Michael Rosen’s Sad Book (Walker Books, £10.99) is his description of the way he is feeling now, some years after the death of his 18-year-old son, Eddie, from meningitis.Writers have every right to exorcise their unhappiness, but Rosen has already written a collection of poetry dealing with Eddie’s death. Isn’t a book about bereavement, aimed at young children, going too far? Do we want to give them nightmares? Isn’t life difficult enough without adding new fears to the list?

Well, two things are immediately obvious: first, that good children’s books are for adults as well as young readers; and second, that after a very early age, only a few unusually fortunate children are unaware of the concept of sadness, which, even more than bereavement, is what Rosen’s book is all about. “Who is sad?” he writes. “Sad is anyone. It comes along and finds you.”Is that a terrifying thought to plant in a child’s head, or is it a solace to know that moments of gloom, of sometimes inexplicable woe, are universal? I find it strange that while radio and television pump stories and images of carnage and famine into our homes every day, it’s not until the family hamster runs his last lap on the wheel, or granddad’s heart packs in that we introduce children to the concept of death or to the idea that life is not and cannot be a perpetual Disneyland.

Although the impulse to shelter children from reality is understandable and sometimes necessary, it can also be unhealthy. Look around the shelves of literature for readers under 10 and you won’t find much that isn’t cheery, cheeky or cosy. It’s the over-abundance of comfort reading that makes Rosen’s and Blake’s book so radical. Where Maurice Sendak dared plumb the depths of a child’s complicated, scary psyche, they address the reality of the outside world and the inner spirit.

C S Lewis would have approved. In an essay he wrote On Three Ways of Writing for Children, recently republished in a new edition of The Chronicles of Narnia (HarperCollins, £25), he gave a robust argument in favour of not mollycoddling children but giving them the defences with which to embrace life.

Some adults, he said, think that we should keep children from learning that they are born “into a world of death, violence, wounds, adventure, heroism and cowardice, good and evil”. Although Lewis as a boy was haunted by nightmares of giant insects, he makes a distinction between feeding phobias and giving children only escapist fiction. “I think it possible,” he wrote, “that by confining your child to blameless stories of child life in which nothing at all alarming ever happens, you would fail to banish the terrors, and would succeed in banishing all that can ennoble them or make them endurable.

“It was a clarion call to treat children with respect and foresight. His other manifesto was that one of the best ways to write children’s books is to do so “because a children’s story is the best art form for something you have to say: just as a composer might write a Dead March not because there was a public funeral in view but because certain musical ideas that had occurred to him went best into that form.”This sentence should be emblazoned on Michael Rosen’s Sad Book because he could not have chosen a more effective way of sharing his thoughts on loss, and life. It is a gem of emotional and artistic harmony. Together, Rosen’s voice and Blake’s drawings will etch themselves on your heart, whatever its age. They’ll also do wonders for the sale of paper tissues.

I am so pleased with this reporter’s stance on treating children with respect and foresight!! I am looking forward to reading the book again in the privacy of my own home. But this time I will be prepared with tissues.

Updated: I used this text in a lecture, reading it to them using the visualising data projector. First I set them all up by telling them how much fun I had with my classes of children, then I caused a thyunderstruck silence as I read the text - as much as I could before weeping, that is. I used it as a brilliant means for the discussion of affect - different forms of emotion drawn upon as a resourced to create interpersonal meanings. There were also many examples of ‘tokens of affect’ - the alliterative and metaphorical language used to add even more emotional depth. Furthermore, we examined the images at a cursory and common sense level at this stage to see how meaning is constructed from the visual. This will give the students a tiny taste of what is to come next year when we work through the entire system of meaning making and the grammar of the image. (Kress and van Leeuwen and beyond!)

Think about the members you really value at Middle Earth palace, or at the Gathering, or ME Insanity… what is it exactly that you value about them?

Then think about any members who you don’t value (no names please!) … what is it exactly that you don’t value about them?

posted by Anya at 2:40:19 PM
6 Comments:

Perc said…

Because Anya’s been eating her chocolate, I’ll answer this question.

I tend to value the people at Middle Earth palace, namely, Glorfy, Nimue and Anya herself, because they teach me things and make me improve. For example, thanks to Nimmy, I haven’t sworn for the last 4 months

Who don’t I value? Newbies. Not because they’re bad, it’s just that i haven’t seen any value in them. Yet. But we shall see, huh?

…And people who are as repetitive as the bible… Do not make me value them… grr.
6:43 PM
Eowyn Skywalker said…

Ah, MEI for short, really… erm… sorry. You know, that’s a nearly impossible question to answer, for me. How do you explain why you are close friends to one person, and then the next drives you nuts? It’s hard to explain why my internet “family” is so close to me– though I do admit, I’m probably better at connecting and bonding with people online than most– but I suppose it has something to do with our nature. I value and appreciate the people because… they accept me for who I am. Even if they don’t know me ME, they still accept me for my personality, and not because I’m whoever in reality. It’s because they don’t give a half credit about whether I’m stupid, whiny, and annoying in reality. (actually, I’m not, just using that as an example. It’s the online me who’s whiny, actually…) And I value them for the same reason– because they aren’t afraid to be whoever they are.

Though I’m still clueless as to how in the galaxy I can become such close friends with one person online who I’ve known for less than a year to the point where we read each other’s minds. (grins) I swear, we’re twins…

I have to come against that N00B point though… because we were ALL newbies once. You have to think on that. N00b bashers drive me INSANE! I have threatened to ban people on MEI who would do that! I think new people should be welcomed at all times– just because they’re clueless doesn’t make them wrong. Because we were all there once, heck, I still am!

The things that drives me insane most of all, however, is completely pathetic spelling and grammer. Sure, I’m not perfect, and I’ll never expect anyone to be– but if you really think it’s that hard to hit the caps lock key to write I, or start a sentence… well… why the heck are you even typing, dude?! That, and excessive use of smileys and chat speak are my petpeeves.

I still greatly appreciate those online who have became close friends… my Master, whom I class as such in reality now too (Jandalf); my online sister (Darth Warious), my online Padawan (Padmé Evenstar)… all them are greatly appreciated, just because they accept me as me, and don’t spend all their time prying.
5:35 PM
Perc said…

*pokes Eowyn* Ok… I’m going to respond. Because I can.

About that “N00b” comment… We used to have a saying at an old forum.

“Newbs” Were people who were indeed new, but they were… good new. They were… pfft. Polite? Nice? Respectful?

“N00Bs” Were people who were new, or perhaps not new, who were just plain annoying… So I see N00bs different than you see them. To me, Newbies are good and fruitful. N00bs are the kind of guys I attack with Ninjas at night.
6:28 PM
Eowyn Skywalker said…

Bah. All right, allow me to debate on this…

A newbie is a person who is new to a forum or comunity or… whatever. It is not an insulting term, merely a true statement for a person who is “new”. Being a newbie can last up to a year– thus meaning I’m still a newbie on my own site. There is nothing wrong with them, just that they don’t always know the ropes. However, most of the time, they try to learn.

A n00b is an insulting term when applied to a person on a forum that’s new. However, it is rightly applied to the annoying, sithspawned characters online who don’t make one effort to learn the ropes, obey the admin (glares at one member on her site), or fit in. At. All. Plus they bash you for no reason at all, and attempt to look innocent.

When applied to a new person, I find that the term n00b is insulting to say the least. However, when rightly used on the annoying people that haunt your forum, whether new or not, I hearily agree– n00bs do not allow for any growth. Newbies– newcomers– are a different story, and I’ll stick up for them any day, surviving people who bash newcomers, and still try to learn the ropes.

There is a difference between n00bs and newbies– always remember that. *hands on hips, attempts to look as intiminating as a Hobbit can– meaning she looks a darn lot like Sam* And if you dare insult newbies when I’m around, you’ll have me to deal with! *grins*
1:02 PM
Eowyn Skywalker said…

And… did you just poke me?! *pokes back* Ptthh.

Heh. Sorry.
1:03 PM
Perc said…

Hey! Don’t you poke me! *pokes back hard with a ninja*
9:32 PM

I’ve had a book on my shelf for a couple of months about Barbie. I never owned a Barbie when I was younger - my mother didn’t believe in them - I had female action figures with bendy body bits and none of the other accessories (oh OK one of them did have long hair and a hair brush which was fun) - but I can’t help but be interested when I see this book that says Barbie is like a cyborg… and as I’ve been reading it today (in between plumbers and flood busters and land lord visits as a result of my catastrophic pipe burst and subsequent flood) I started thinking about replacing the word Barbie with the idea of our avatars…

Here are a few ideas - if you feel like indulging me, please let me know what you think *smile*…

1. Our avatars (and Barbie) have idealised bodies - perfect shapes, unrestricted, clean, and made from technology (or plastic).
2. Our avatars can represent the type of body we desire - some people in other graphic worlds even PAY lots of money for their ideal avatar to be designed for them (one man I know made a living for an entire year making avatars and other props for an online game).
3. Once upon a time, people used to obsess over their beautiful cars (another type of technology) and cars were a symbol of a person’s identity. But now people obsess about having perfect bodies, and the avatars we use can make our dreams come true, and can become part of our identity.
4. Our avatars can look perfectly fit and perfectly healthy and in fact are more ‘real’ than reality.

I wonder though if I can make these comparisons between Barbie and avatars?

I have about 50 avatars - I only use 2 regularly, but one is a beautiful model and the other one is a very cute faerie (thanks to Lily who gave it to me). So I might have missed out playing with Barbie but I can enjoy playing with my avatars. I know some of you *looks at Lily* have hundreds of avatars (how many fashion parades have I sat through? *laugh*). And I like looking gorgeous with a beautiful avatar - I mean why would I choose an ugly one? But sometimes I like to wear a cat avatar, or a chair, or Harry Potter. And I hardly think Harry Potter is somebody I desire to be. But it does let me play out the fantasy storylines of being magical and powerful *evil laugh*…. so in some ways my avatars let me have more fun than I can in my own body (unless I dress up and RP for real)…

So although I don’t dream of being Harry Potter or a cat, I do enjoy being playful, exploring different sides of myself and just having fun… and my avatars or RP characters (yes, I used to RP in the past) have inspired or allowed me to do this.

And yet, Barbie is despised and labelled plastic, fraudulent, shallow, frivolous, self-centred, superficial and false.

My avatars may be frivolous but at some times they have let me be more honest and deep, making the impossible possible. So maybe the explorations I make with my avatars are a way for me to explore ’self-hood’ (who I am) which is worthy of much more contemplation.

In fact, I just came across this advertisement for Barbie from the makers, Mattel:

That’s pretty clever marketing I think! It looks like Mattel are catching up with more neo-feminist ways of thinking - assertive women doing what they want… and the perfect slogan to match what I was trying to say about avatars - we can become our own hero with our avatars…

I should have burst pipes more often *chuckle*….

So, what can you tell me about your avatars and the ways you use them to try out new sides of yourself or your characters?

posted by Anya at 8:58:34 PM
2 Comments:

Perc said…

Hey, how’s it going.

Wow, how deep… It’s kinda true that the avatars resemble what my perfect self would look like (Strategist with glowing red evil eyes and the Mid-boss with purple hair and pointy ears not included) but avatars are also kinda famous… If you have a really famous avatar-person, then people will look at you…

I also like using avatars as points for my roleplay-people… Zhou Wei the sassy intelligent strategist… ahh…
6:13 PM
Eowyn Skywalker said…

I don’t really use avatars to express different sides of characters, because I am on very few RPG-only sites. And I don’t go on the palace enough to need more than the two I have– one with Eowyn edited to have a lightsaber, and the one I had when we were chatting of “Tiana”. Lately I’ve been wearing avatars with text on them– such as on MSN IM– and the text expresses my character’s present siduations. I usually only go on MSN to RP with Jandalf… so… yeah. Then I often use avatars of characters on typical sites as it is.

I can’t say they completely represent me, and yet they do– most of them are human in appearance, and often sad, or searching in appearance. True, many people wear ‘idealized’ avatars, but I make a point of not doing such. True again, I wish I looked similar to some of the avatars I’ve worn, but they are never perfect. They’re ideal for the characters, often, and naught more than that. There’s tricks, of course, to avatars– the hair, the eyes, and colors make the complete mood of them. I don’t wish I was like one I’m using– hair choppy hair, gray pailor, and very sad– but she’s ideal for the character I’m using her for.

It’s not becoming your own hero that’s the point– it’s allowing what’s inside of you to show through. You can’t be a hero, but you can be yourself, and that’s something, isn’t it?